So I'm a teacher and I'm used to having time off to relax, rejuvenate and have fun. The only problem is that this year, for the first time since I was 5, I did not have the deadline of school starting in late August to loom over me and remind me that real life begins the last Wednesday in August. This lack of work has turned me into the biggest unmotivated lump ever! It is 12:30 and my big accomplishment for Wednesday has been taking a shower. I really feel pathetic, but I just have no motivation. There are no friends who might drop by to say hi or have dinner so who cares if the leaves that Samson tracked through my kitchen yesterday are still festively decorating the floor? Who cares if the blanket protecting the ottoman looks like we've adopted a 2 foot tall square cat? And who cares if my sweatpants go on at 6am and stay on until J and I go to the dog park at 6pm? Don't get me wrong, I like living in a clean place, but I am so unmotivated that rather than cleaning I just go someplace else in the house where I don't have to worry about the unfolded socks that are calling my name! I haven't cooked dinner in a week, and I am even thinking about going to the Kiwanis meeting tonight just so I have another excuse not to cook.
I know reality will hit hard when I am working again, but it's been so long that I have given up hope of finding a stable job for the remainder of this school year...and it's only October. I have friends who are taking trips, buying new things for their new homes and thinking about the future...and unfortunately with $0 a month coming from my said of the paycheck, I can't even begin to think about the future without J pulling me back and showing me that we have to pay for here and now before anything else.
The worst part of it all is that with nothing to do and no place to go I often find myself wandering through the kitchen thinking, "I really could go for some rice..." or "I wonder how that pizza would taste cold...". I'm in denial about the fact that even if I get a job this fall/winter, I might not have clothes that fit to provide a proper Monday-Friday wardrobe. I try to talk to J about it, but he tells me everything will be fine, and when he suggests that maybe I should vacuum the stairs or mop the floor...I break down and cry because if I had a job I wouldn't have all of this free time to complete household tasks. I need motivation, and it has to be something more than "I'll take you for custard after we go to the dog park".
Help...somebody!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Top 2 Tuesday....Dream Kitchens!
This week's Top 2 Tuesday is Dream Kitchens. This one hits home as I will take any excuse to go to Home Depot, Lowe's or ANY store that sells kitchen appliances, cabinets and counters. Don't get me wrong, my kitchen is very functional, but it is NOT my dream kitchen. It's difficult to pick a "dream kitchen" from pictures on the internet but here is my attempt!
1. I love the wood tone in this kitchen, ceramic tile floors, and granite countertops. The built in hutch is beautiful, and would give me a great place to display all of Grandma's china! Bright windows add a lot of light to this kitchen. The cabinet layout is something that could be done in my kitchen, with some light demo and an installation of an island!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
License!
I checked my status online yesterday and it says that I've been given my license!!!! It is a big relief because now the only thing that stands between me and a job is time! I am filling out applications for substitute teaching and continuously checking websites to find available jobs. I am excited to have a source of income, it has been far too long!!!!
I also got a new harness for Samson. It has been very trying to take him for walks because he is so interested in everything that he pulls at the leash constantly. I finally had enough. He is almost 20 pounds and he was actually starting to hurt me. The harness that I got him goes around his front legs and attaches to the leash in front of his chest. I was very skeptical that a harness could change his walking, but I was amazed at what a difference it really made. He walks so well!!! I am really proud of him. He has difficulty getting out of the car because of how high it is, so when you open the back door he will attempt to jump out and then back up. I put my arm down, lean towards him and say "help" and he will wrap his leg around my arm and wait to be picked up. It is the cutest thing that he is currently doing!!!
J's dad came over today and brought someone to help clean out the gutters. He is also going to put in a run for Samson in the front yard so he doesn't get tied around the tree. I absolutely love my office furniture! It has created a separation between the living room and the computer. We used to sit and surf the web and watch tv so often, it was like a rut! Now I actually have to go to the office to be on the computer, and it's definitely cut down on the amount of tv time we've had!
I made chili for dinner tonight...it was delicious! I'm so excited to have leftovers for tomorrow and maybe even to give J some for lunch on Saturday!!!!!
I also got a new harness for Samson. It has been very trying to take him for walks because he is so interested in everything that he pulls at the leash constantly. I finally had enough. He is almost 20 pounds and he was actually starting to hurt me. The harness that I got him goes around his front legs and attaches to the leash in front of his chest. I was very skeptical that a harness could change his walking, but I was amazed at what a difference it really made. He walks so well!!! I am really proud of him. He has difficulty getting out of the car because of how high it is, so when you open the back door he will attempt to jump out and then back up. I put my arm down, lean towards him and say "help" and he will wrap his leg around my arm and wait to be picked up. It is the cutest thing that he is currently doing!!!
J's dad came over today and brought someone to help clean out the gutters. He is also going to put in a run for Samson in the front yard so he doesn't get tied around the tree. I absolutely love my office furniture! It has created a separation between the living room and the computer. We used to sit and surf the web and watch tv so often, it was like a rut! Now I actually have to go to the office to be on the computer, and it's definitely cut down on the amount of tv time we've had!
I made chili for dinner tonight...it was delicious! I'm so excited to have leftovers for tomorrow and maybe even to give J some for lunch on Saturday!!!!!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
This is a post that one of my friends does every week, and I really liked the topic this week, and thought it would be a fun way to keep up with my blogging! Enjoy!!
1. Thank You For Loving Me Bon Jovi -This is our wedding song, and I absolutely love it. I feel like even though J and I have difficulties at times, we both know that deep down we love each dearly. Oh, and I'm obsessed with Bon Jovi...so you knew this had to be one of my picks!!!!
2. The Boys of Fall Kenny Chesney- This song is currently the ringtone on my phone. I love the song, but it makes me think of my brother every time I hear it. I couldn't be more proud of his accomplishments as a football player, and just overall as a person!
Road Trip!
Samson and I went on a trip to CT this past week. We left at 4:30 Thursday morning and surprised my family with a visit. My (not so) little brother started high school this year and he made the varsity football team. I am so proud of him, words can't even express it, and I really wanted to be there for his first home game against our rivals Naugatuck (boooo!!!). Unfortunately we lost, but it didn't really matter because I got to see my brother in a THS football uniform out on the field during the third quarter!
My weekend was full of football, cheerleading and a trip to the Big E! I was really feeling bummed that everyone I knew seemed to be going, and since I am not currently working (booo) I felt like now was the perfect time for a visit. I wish I could have stayed longer and visited with everyone that I miss so dearly, but I really was there for the reason of seeing my brother and sister.
I also found out Friday night that one of my dearest friends is getting married. I am really excited for her, she is such a great person and she has truly found a very loving man. I look back at all of the drama that we experienced in college...we were both madly in love with boys that shared the same first name...and I think we both thought we would end up married to those boys. I hope that I can be supportive of her during this time and offer her tips and advice that will benefit her. When it comes down to it, I am just so excited for her-- she really is blessed!!!!
Office furniture finally arrived!!!! I have been waiting for what seems like forever for it to come, but here it is! I am sitting in my new chair, at my new desks typing on the computer. Now I can work on organizing all of my old school stuff, the 13+ boxes of books in my garage, and I can buy one of the wall organizers that I've been obsessing over at OfficeMax! Having furniture in another room is definitely helping this place to feel like home!
I need advice...Mother-In-Law suggested/asked J if I wanted to have Thanksgiving at our house. She said it would make it possible for Grandma & Grandpa to come to dinner, and that J's brother could do the cooking. I have a couple issues with this...1) I don't have a dining room table. Or really any table(s) that can accommodate 8 or more people. 2) I feel pressured to have it here because I really enjoy spending time with Grandma & Grandpa. 3) I took offense to the notion that J's brother could do the cooking...as if I wasn't capable of hosting AND cooking...I understand that he works as a short order cook at a bar and grille, but I am completely capable of cooking Thanksgiving dinner!
What do I do??
My weekend was full of football, cheerleading and a trip to the Big E! I was really feeling bummed that everyone I knew seemed to be going, and since I am not currently working (booo) I felt like now was the perfect time for a visit. I wish I could have stayed longer and visited with everyone that I miss so dearly, but I really was there for the reason of seeing my brother and sister.
I also found out Friday night that one of my dearest friends is getting married. I am really excited for her, she is such a great person and she has truly found a very loving man. I look back at all of the drama that we experienced in college...we were both madly in love with boys that shared the same first name...and I think we both thought we would end up married to those boys. I hope that I can be supportive of her during this time and offer her tips and advice that will benefit her. When it comes down to it, I am just so excited for her-- she really is blessed!!!!
Office furniture finally arrived!!!! I have been waiting for what seems like forever for it to come, but here it is! I am sitting in my new chair, at my new desks typing on the computer. Now I can work on organizing all of my old school stuff, the 13+ boxes of books in my garage, and I can buy one of the wall organizers that I've been obsessing over at OfficeMax! Having furniture in another room is definitely helping this place to feel like home!
I need advice...Mother-In-Law suggested/asked J if I wanted to have Thanksgiving at our house. She said it would make it possible for Grandma & Grandpa to come to dinner, and that J's brother could do the cooking. I have a couple issues with this...1) I don't have a dining room table. Or really any table(s) that can accommodate 8 or more people. 2) I feel pressured to have it here because I really enjoy spending time with Grandma & Grandpa. 3) I took offense to the notion that J's brother could do the cooking...as if I wasn't capable of hosting AND cooking...I understand that he works as a short order cook at a bar and grille, but I am completely capable of cooking Thanksgiving dinner!
What do I do??
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Eat, Pray, Love!
Yesterday J had to go to Columbus for work, but he got to drive down by himself, so I went with him. He had meetings from 10-3 so I went to Polaris and shopped. After walking around the mall for a little while I went to the movies and saw Eat.Pray.Love. It was really good! I can see why it didn't get the best reviews, but it kind of spoke to me. I was the ONLY person in the entire theater. That's right, not just at my movie, but at ANY movie. So I sat dead center, put my feet up and didn't feel bad about texting a few times.
The movie made me realize that I've been really worried about what a lot of other people have, want, and do...and I haven't been finding out what I really want. This is especially important now that I am 700 miles away from my friends and family. It also helped me remember that one of the happiest times in my life was when I was regularly attending church. There is a Catholic church right down the street but J and I haven't gone even once since we moved in. I think I really am going to make a point of going this weekend. Besides helping strengthen our relationship, it could also help us meet some people that live in our area.
The movie made me realize that I've been really worried about what a lot of other people have, want, and do...and I haven't been finding out what I really want. This is especially important now that I am 700 miles away from my friends and family. It also helped me remember that one of the happiest times in my life was when I was regularly attending church. There is a Catholic church right down the street but J and I haven't gone even once since we moved in. I think I really am going to make a point of going this weekend. Besides helping strengthen our relationship, it could also help us meet some people that live in our area.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Why Hello Again...!
I haven't psted in over a month because every time I think about blogging I feel like I'm just going to think of the negative things that are going on. So I have decided to dedicate this blog to the positive things...and I will think of some if it kills me...and hopefully feel a little better about what's going on in my life!
1. Samson- Samson is really growing, he is already 16 pounds!!! He was 4 pounds when we got him, and he continues to make so much progress every day. He has been in puppy class for 4 weeks now, so he is half way to graduation. I wouldn't say that he has mastered any of his tricks yet, but he does very well with look, touch, sit, leave it and down. Stay is the next trick we will be working on!
2. Weather- The weather has cooled off and it is now GORGEOUS almost every day. I am really looking forward to doing some fun fall activities. I even went to Marshall's and looked at Halloween/Fall decor for the house...I can't wait to make the house look spooktacular! (ok, I know that was lame...but it is what it is!)
3. Wildlife- I love animals, any kind of animal. I hung a bird feeder outside the living room window and after waiting a week and watching birds turn a blind eye to my feeder they are FINALLY eating birdseed on a regular basis. I have also seen a number of black squirrels in the yard, very cool! I want to feed them but J isn't overly excited about that. Just this morning I had my first deer sighting. There were three deer- mom, dad and baby- walking through the front yard, around the side of the house and into the back yard! I was so excited that I called J at work.
I really am going to try and blog more. I have the time, I just keep putting it off!
1. Samson- Samson is really growing, he is already 16 pounds!!! He was 4 pounds when we got him, and he continues to make so much progress every day. He has been in puppy class for 4 weeks now, so he is half way to graduation. I wouldn't say that he has mastered any of his tricks yet, but he does very well with look, touch, sit, leave it and down. Stay is the next trick we will be working on!
2. Weather- The weather has cooled off and it is now GORGEOUS almost every day. I am really looking forward to doing some fun fall activities. I even went to Marshall's and looked at Halloween/Fall decor for the house...I can't wait to make the house look spooktacular! (ok, I know that was lame...but it is what it is!)
3. Wildlife- I love animals, any kind of animal. I hung a bird feeder outside the living room window and after waiting a week and watching birds turn a blind eye to my feeder they are FINALLY eating birdseed on a regular basis. I have also seen a number of black squirrels in the yard, very cool! I want to feed them but J isn't overly excited about that. Just this morning I had my first deer sighting. There were three deer- mom, dad and baby- walking through the front yard, around the side of the house and into the back yard! I was so excited that I called J at work.
I really am going to try and blog more. I have the time, I just keep putting it off!
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